My Immortal, the WORST fanfiction ever written

or possibly the best troll of all time.
note: all misspellings are on purpose, because I'm just copying what was there.

okay so first read this, please: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/My_Immortal
as much as you can, the more you read the more the actual story makes sense. not that it's POSSIBLE for this story to make sense, but it helps. Ah, no, it's broken now. Whatever. Hopefully you can understand it a little without it.

the basics: this is fanfiction. the "canon" story (original) of Harry potter is totally thrown away, as is spelling, grammar, and often just the English language. it's 44 chapters long, bur each chapter is like a page so yeah.
it's like a joke... but not. if it is a troll, it was insanely well thought out because apparently even her friend raven has a profile and whatever. if it's not a troll, Tara is probably the biggest idiot who ever lived.

some important translations:
goffik: gothic, n, adj, something that people who shop at hot topic, listen to goffik bands such. as good Charlotte and simple plan are. totally. they hate preps an posers. a prep is someone who is not suicidal and a poser is someone like, for instance, dumbledore, who wishes they were goffick.

fangz: thanks. this one took me awhile.

Skull: school. (geddit, cos shes goffik)

cloves: clothes. I got all the way to like, chapter 39 before knowing what this meant.


the characters don't make any sense so I'm not even going to try.... read some of that link and it'll help... a bit.



okay, here's the actual story: (AHH MY FIRST LINK IS BROKEN WHATEVER HERE:) http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapters122.htm

not that you all really care, but I'm going to type my running commentary and favorite quotes here. if the thing is in quotes, it's a quote. if not, it's commentary. It might not be in order, sorry. I wrote it in a notebook on all these different pages so yeah.... also, if you see a word capitalized or spelled correctly, it's a typo on my part, sorry, it's just a habit. Watch out for the word "to" or "two" because if you see it it's supposed to be "2" by the way.

time to turn off spell check on my iPod...

please, it would be really cool if you read this. it's a seriously hilarious book. book. ha. right. book. anyway. how far can you read without laughing? i got to maybe the first authors note. ah its so pathetic.


"sum of dis chapta is xtremly scray. viower excretion advised."
hahahah excretion.


Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn’t there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was.

by the way, not a single element of this story is consistant. names, plots, dates, etc. ebony. enoby. loopin. darko.

"we talked to each other in silence."

ahhhh this makes no sense what is happening?!?!

im so confused! the plot keeps repeating but not in order and....... whaaaat?

goffik bands. right. you are so very punk. pop, maybe.

oh look, the author has a friend. hi raven, nice to know you gave her sweater back. if you seriously help edit this... if this is your combined brain power.... eauugh. you really can't spell.

"and a black die. (geddit instead of tie koz im goffik)"

Oh, the author is going on vacation in "transilvania".... right.... of course.

LUMPKIN! HA! OH MY GOD! supposed to be loopin, which is supposed to be lupin. HA.

His dogfather, serious black.

"I asked in a gothic voice"


He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff

Wait, didn't Draco commit suicide? How is he here? THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

"and then.................. we heard sum footsteps!"

Filth: Filch? Wait, Filch is the cat. Ms. Norris is the human.

By Jenny I assume you mean Ginny.

erective? SECRETIVE. secretive? Oh my god.......

"The bark lord is planning to kill the students! yelled Cornelia Fudge."

Rumbridge.

"NO!' I screamed sexily."

"suddenly................................................................................................................................................................... I fell asleep."

devisional/decisional= delusional

"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz' (I dnot own da lyrkz 2 dat song)"

What song? OH. Those were lyrics. You know, I'm pretty sure that Green Day hasn't copyrighted that exact spelling.

"Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily."

"Has anyone f***ing seen Draco?' I asked gothikally."

"I got up suicidally."

"everyone in the room started to cry happily"

Voldemint.

Professor McGoogle!

"Crosio! I shouted"

"And the time when Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire was so supportive." HAHAHAHAHA.

".... shouted snap but suddenly severus came in" they're different people? okay...


So yeah. I hope you read this book.


I meant to post this FOREVER ago but I haven't had time to type up all of the commentary yet. So hear you go. Seriously, read it. Again, here is the link: http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapters122.htmand there you go. Read. Thanks. It's SO FUNNY. In a pathetic kind of way.


Thoughts? Do you think it's a troll or is she serious? Read the description? Did you enjoy the plot? Are Green Day and MCR and Panic! punk bands (hint: no)? What about Hot Topic? Is Tara a poser, just like Dumbledore? Please comment. NO ONE HAS COMMENTED on something that matters so I hope this matters, a little, enough for you to comment. I'm sad that no one said anything on my last post, the one about TSA, because that was fun. And no one even noticed I was gone.... so.... hmm...

Anyway, I'll keep posting anyway. I'm not like Tara. I don't beg for good reviews. Ha. Plus I like writing this. Because it's fun to pretend you have an audience.